i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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