with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
