i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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