The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
