I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
