Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
