the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
