Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
