Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
