She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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