Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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