i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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