Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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