I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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