Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Dick very happy bro
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
