Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
