hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
