the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
