I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
