Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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