And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
