this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
