i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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