I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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