tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
