my sisters under your porch take her home
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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