do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
