tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
