I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
