like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
‪Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best. ‬
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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