but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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