you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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