yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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