i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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