Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
But I just had this pork pt. It was dick grabbing.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
