last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
50% drunk capacity currently
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
