I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
