Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
