Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
