I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
