He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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