he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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