ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
