did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
