Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
