Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
