Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
