At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
