I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
