There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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