We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
